How to send a message in gay online dating

ThusSpokeZarathustra Joined: I totally don't understand what you just said. One, I'm not looking for a fetish or sex. I thought dating site were about people. There is a gay-side to POF and there are gay men on here and the only one I message.

Tinder Opening Lines For Everyone

I'm confused by your comment. More specifically, everyone likes to talk about something in common - so something relevant but short, but not hello gorgeous short. Maybe I can say something helpful. I'm Marie. I like your profile. I also love the fair and think you would be fun to ride with. I share your interest in music and love of Lady Gaga! It be great if I got to know more about you. See what I did there? I pretended to be a guy sending my first message to you.

As I am a straight female, I don't know how that would be tailor made for you, but I don't think it has to be super long. It just shows that we share common interests and I took the time to read your profile!!! Most important in my book! A little reverse psychology going on in your reply. Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. The words if you can call them that ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv, and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message. Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes.

Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use.

How to Write Your First Online Dating Message

Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner. But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move.

You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy.

A Very Sensible, Queer Guide To Sending the First Message On Tinder

While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness. Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests. Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one. I love it.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is a Brooklyn-based writer, television critic, and comedian who spends most of her time over-analyzing queer subtext on television, singing "Take Me Or Leave Me" in public places, and assembling cheese platters. She has a cat named after Piper Halliwell from Charmed, and her go-to karaoke song is "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch. Her writing can also be found at The A. Club and The Hollywood Reporter, and she wrote the webseries Sidetrack.

You need to login in order to like this post: Good lord, I have poor answers for all of these.. I would ask: I am a little mystified by the rise of Jenny Schecter apologism. You know, I seem like I actually read your profile. Is there a text-length limit on those things? On the other hand, if someone were to ask my favorite type of dog I would want to meet them immediately.


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After reading all those printscreens, my first question would be: Every time I get a match I scream and hide from my phone till it goes away. Dana Scully, the root of my love for pantsuits and redheads.

Bonus points for redheads in pantsuits. I can confirm this approach works. Also obviously my answer was Zayn simpler times. For reference; Answer 1 is YES!!! A lot of the times the questions are so ridiculous that I had to respond by saying that I did not ask cuz I am not THAT dorky — which prompted my match to reply. Thus began a 3 hour conversation that went nowhere.

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A Very Sensible, Queer Guide To Sending the First Message On Tinder | Autostraddle

These questions are pure genius. Hey Kayla this is a great article but do you think you could remove the joke about sociopaths from 11? I was texting two girls from Tinder last night.


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  • Hi, I really appreciate your inputs on my situation Dr happy and what could I do with-out you. A great satirical piece. Although your story is certainly an outlier, gimmicky questions are highly unlikely to help you attract someone who is right for you. Sadly, we all know that physical attractiveness is the best predictor of responsiveness on these superficial apps. Tinder Opening Lines For Everyone 1.

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